reposted from ABTF


'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
not a player was stirring, not a marker in hand.
My sniper hide was set up by the Chimney with care,
in hopes that St Nick would not be aware.

The young guns were nestled all snug in their beds,
visions of speedball games danced in their heads.
With me in my digicam, froze in a tactical crouch,
I blended in perfectly with our new pull out couch.
The night vision goggles cast eerie a glow on the place,
as I waited for Santa to show his fat face.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
calming my nerves I made ready to splatter.
Shouldering my Q-Bow and chambered a ball,
'cause the big man was here, and was fixing to call.
Now Santa's no dummy, he has intuition,
he came down the chimney with his own ammunition.
He wore a bandolier of clips and a ghillie of pine,
but I knew he meant business when he raised that Tac-9.

Balls flew through the room as I dove for new cover,
paint raining around me as if coming from a sprinkler.
My ambush had been foiled, there was nothing to do,
this house might be wrecked before we were through.

As our hoppers went empty and the shooting did stop,
I wiped off my goggles, cause I couldn't see squat.
There was old Santa , crouched on one ancient knee,
quickly stacking the presents under the tree.

I took aim on Kris Kringle, ready to even the score,
but when the red dot lined up, my jaw hit the floor.
Santa's back was to me, no way I could miss him,
he was busy laying out gifts, my new HPA system!
That old geezer was good, he'd gotten my note,
sniping him now would only seem cutthroat.

He went up the chimney as quick as he'd come.
Leaving me covered with paint, and emotionally numb.
I tried to ambushed old Santa and now feeling bad,
but St. Nick got the last laugh, knowing I'd been had!

It took half the night just to clean up the paint,
while straightening the stockings I felt no complaint.
That Santa's an awesome player, I thought in my head,
as I trudged up the stairs and off to my bed.

So don't wait up for Santa on this Christmas Eve,
that jolly old fat guy has a few tricks up his sleeve.
If you do try to take him on, then wear a pink dress,
cause you'll only get spanked and be cleaning the mess.

Happy Holidays everyone!

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haha not too bad

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That was beautiful

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